Closure Isn't a Gift. It's a Choice.
And sometimes, it's a trap
Some people would rather die than give us closure. It’s how they source their sense of being in charge. Withholding resolution to gain (or remain in) control.
Where I come from, there’s a famous proverb: “Power is not given - it’s taken.”
What was common sense to my Slavic ancestors, we call audacity - to say the least. Instead? We keep chasing people for validation, seek permission to breathe, and wonder why we feel like trash.
Before self-worth comes self-respect. But wait, there’s that audacity again. The one that shouts “How dare you demand better? Who do you think you are to even voice demands?”
Why keep hitting walls when you could simply shrink? It’s easier for anyone that way.
Or is it.
Wanting something to be safe doesn’t make it so.
Like having parents who can be trusted. Or friendships that don’t break when you’re weak.
I lost both, seeking closure for decades. The kind that never came. A simple apology for what was very real to me, but didn’t exist for them. Conveniently so.
Forgiveness has never been a choice - a free pass on the damage caused. I’ve learned it’s also an attachment.
Dysfunctional for sure. But something to hold on to nonetheless.
An open wound as proof I still bleed.